The Happening: More like "The Crappening"

Marky Mark wonders what 'happened' to his film career in "The Happening."

I used to be a film critic for a small newspaper, even an award-winning film critic, so my opinion on movies is not without some basis.

My take is that a critic is not supposed to be a movie snob. The critic, who usually gets to see the films for free at a special screening, is supposed to be the surrogate for the audience member who paid upwards of $8 so they will know if the show is worth their hard-earned money.

I haven't been to a critic's screening in about two years and the local entertainment weekly in Asheville rarely has reviews of mainstream films before they open (the area critic runs one of the theaters, and while he usually is pretty hard on the films shown there that relationship makes me question his ability to be totally objective).

So, I went into M. Night Shyamalan's "The Happening" without any advance word.

Without giving away Shama-lama-ding-dong's big secret (which is not that bad, given the times we live in), here's my review.

The jist of "The Happening" is that something is making otherwise rationale people in the Northeast kill themselves and not in a 'go gently into that good night way.' They step of ledges of high-rise buildings, jam knitting needles into their necks, press loaded police revolvers to their temples and throw themselves under running lawn mowers.

While the deaths are intense (that's what got the film the director's first R-rating), there's little else worth your time. The characterization is pretty minimal. I kept waiting for Marky Mark Wahlberg to punch someone, but that never happened.

I won't reval why things happen in "The Happening," but I don't feel guilty in sharing the director's trademark unecessary cameo. As with previous films, Shyamalan has again inserted himself into the narrative. This time it's not as jarring as in "The Lady in the Water" (go to http://www.blueridgenow.com/article/20060721/NEWS/607210313 for my thoughts on that fiasco), this time he actually avoids screen time.

SPOILER ALERT:

Marky Mark's deadpan wife played by Zooey Deschanel had an indescretion with a co-worker named Joey. During the midst of the panic created by all the suicides, Joey keeps calling the object of his misplaced affections. When she eventually answers her cell phone, the voice on the other end is belongs to M. But you don't find that out until the credits roll.

And that is the most interesting part of the movie.

Instead of being part of this happening, go enjoy the summer sunshine. It's cheaper and far much more rewarding. Just beware of which way the wind blows.

Take that to mean what you want, it probably does.

=WL=